Wicked Facebook
by woodland59
Summary: Come see it all! The Wicked Characters have joined FACEBOOK! Features Elphaba, Glinda, Morrible, Wizard, Boq, Nessa, Fiyero, Doctor Dillamond, and more! T because I'm paranoid and for possible language and content. If you want, you can submit your real /fake name and be friends with Wicked characters! Just submit your profile and I'll see what I can do!
1. Chapter 1: Elphaba Joins Facebook

_**Chapter 1: Elphaba Joins Facebook**_

_Elphaba Thropp has joined Facebook. _

Those were the first words Elphaba read on the glorious website that is Facebook. This website would lead her through many adventures, and all in one place: her bedroom. Or…well, on her phone, too, she supposed. Oh, and her tablet.

She got a reply a moment later, it was from **Glinda "the Good" Upland. "**Ooh, Elphie! Add me as your friend!"

Elphaba obliged, adding Glinda as her friend. She quickly went to Glinda's profile, and saw that it said:

**Name: Glinda Upland of the Upper Uplands. The 'Ga' is silent. **

**Age: 22 years old!**

**Home: THE EMERALD CITY PALACE! **

**Current location: Being good in my awesome bedroom.**

**Interests: Bubbles, pink, Fiyero, being Elphie's friends, shopping, giving nicknames, shopping, ruling Oz, flowers, shopping, chocolate, shoes, shopping, and shoes. **

**In a relationship: Well, Fiyero never technically broke off the engagement…**

This angered Elphaba, and she immediately clicked on Glinda's wall and wrote a comment: _Really, Glin? Fiyero never broke off the engagement?_

Glinda responded a moment later, _Well, it's true!_

Fiyero quickly joined the conversation: _Glinda, I'm breaking off the engagement._

Glinda replied about ten minutes later, _-sigh- Fifi, now I'm gonna have to change my profile status, and that's gonna attract all kinds of weirdos now that they know I'M single! Can't I just keep it like this?_

Fiyero ignored her comment and wrote a comment to Elphaba, _Fae, my love. I would love to become your friend!_

_Oh, Fiyero, I'd love to!_ Elphaba said, happily accepting his request. _Ooh! I need to go update my profile status!_

Glinda looked on in dismay to see that Elphaba Thropp had left the conversation.

Glinda quickly typed, _But seriously, Fifi, can I keep it like this?_

_**Fiyero Tiggular**__ has left this conversation._

Glinda looked up from her computer, and uttered a single, ungoodly word, "Crap."

…

Boq Fitzgerald was utterly determined to get Glinda to be his friend. Then, he could give her online hugs and kisses! He quickly sent in a request for the fifteenth time a day, and it was…denied. Boq didn't get it. What could Glinda not see in him? Did she have any idea how she was making him feel? How could she be so cruel?

Boq quickly noticed a friend request pop up. _**Nessarose Thropp **__wants to be your friend. _

…And he quickly hit decline.

…

Nessa didn't get it. What in Oz was wrong with Boq? He must be reading the request wrong? Yes, that was it…she'd just have to send another one in. She waited, and then saw…it was denied.

Nessa sighed and quickly went to her sister's wall and posted a comment. _Elphaba, can I ask you a question?_

A few minutes later, her sister replied, _Yes, Nessa?_

_Why won't Boq be my friend? _

Immediately, a response came up, _**Elphaba Thropp **__has left this conversation._

Nessa banged her head on the table. Why was life so confusing?

**A/N: Anyone notice where I got Boq's name from? **


	2. Chapter 2: More Friends for Elphie :D

Chapter 2: More Friends for Elphie :D

Elphaba quickly logged into her Facebook account and checked her Wall. Nothing new. Elphaba sighed. She was so bored. Fiyero was off at his new job (scaring crows in a field) and he'd forgotten his phone, so she couldn't text or contact him on Facebook. Glinda was probably busy doing stuff in Oz, and who knew where Nessa and Boq were?

Suddenly, a friend request popped up. Elphaba frowned on seeing the name. Who was Nia Wickedgirl? Elphaba shrugged and accepted the friend request. Friends were nice.

Elphaba clicked on Nia's profile and looked at it.

**Name: Nia Wickedgirl :D**

**Age: Young teenager ;D**

**Home: The Wonderful World of Oz!**

**Current Location: Again, the Wonderful World of OZ!**

**Interests: Singing, Dancing, Acting, being bubbly like G(a)linda, giving makeovers**

**In a relationship: Single**

_Oh great, another Glinda-like person_, Elphaba thought. Suddenly, a message popped up from Nia Wickedgirl.

_Hi, hi, hi!_ it said. _I am Nia, and I am, like, YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVER!_

Another response popped up, it was from Nat Guest. _Nuh-uh, I am! Elphaba, will you accept my friend request?_

Elphaba was so confused. Dazed, she accepted the request and continued observing the conversation.

Then, another request popped up from a **Ronnaé Decker. **Elphaba accepted it, and the girl joined the conversation.

_Girls, you have it all wrong. __**I**__ am the world's biggest Wicked fan._

_No, I am! _Someone named **Elphabalover101 Author **joined.

Elphaba quickly accepted her request, just as another popped up. This one was from a **Mia Thompson.**

The next minute, she was arguing, too. _I AM THE BIGGEST WICKED FAN EVER AND GELPHIE FOREVER! _ she type-yelled.

Elphaba finally came to her senses and typed a response, _What's Gelphie?_

Somehow, all the girls typed their responses at once, _OMG, ELPHABA IS TALKING TO ME! –faints-_

**Glitter Bunnii **joined. _…What just happened here?_

**Dani BlueD **joined as well. _I have no idea._

They sent friend requests to Elphaba, who accepted them and typed something to them, _Do you guys have any idea what Gelphie is?_

The two typed their responses simultaneously, _OMG, ELPHABA IS TALKING TO ME! –faints-_

Elphaba groaned and left the conversation. She'd just have to look it up herself…

**A/N: Poor Elphie, you have no idea what you're going to find out…I think I fit everyone in there, but if not, feel free to tell me and I'll put you in the next chapter. Hope ya'll enjoyed that, and most of you guessed where I got Boq's name from: Christopher Fitzgerald, the original Boq on Broadway! The name suits him, don't'cha think? And Elphaba'sGirl, I've never read the Great Gatsby, but it sounds interesting…what's it about?**


	3. Chapter 3: Gelphie

Chapter 3: Gelphie

Elphaba was horrified at what she found when she looked up 'Gelphie'. It was something she'd never forget…She shuddered, breathing in and out deeply, thinking to herself she'd have to get a therapist…

The first thing she'd found was an M-rated fanfiction, and….well…it…it didn't go well.

She noticed a friend request pop up from 'Elphaba'sGirl Author', and she quickly accepted it, not really thinking.

Then, she noticed that **Glinda 'the good' Upland **was back on. Elphaba quickly went to the conversation with her, _Glinda? _she typed.

_Oh, hi, Elphie!_

Elphaba shuddered yet again and quickly typed, _Have you, by any chance, heard of Gelphie?_

_Well, duh, Elphie! Everybody has!_ Glinda shook her head. Her friend was really behind the times!

_Do you…support it?_ Elphaba typed. _A couple of…you and I?_

Glinda thought to herself for a moment. Did she like Elphie? No, not really, but she decided to mess with her a bit.

_Oh, yes, my love! You are the love of my life!_

Elphaba was horrified. She quickly hit 'Block' and went to chat with the new **Elphaba'sGirl Author.**

_Elphie? _Glinda typed. _Elphie?_ Then, she noticed something that said, **Elphaba Thropp **has blocked you.

Glinda cursed under her breath, "Ozdamnit it, Elphie, I was KIDDING!"


	4. Chapter 4: The King of Annoyingness

Chapter 4: Bick, the King of All Things Annoying

Glinda often questioned to herself why in the name of Oz had she accepted that little Munchkin's friend request? Since she had, he'd been nagging her all day, cracking really lame jokes and sending her hearts.

She wondered why she didn't just ignore him. She groaned yet again as she read his latest message: _Glinda, you are the most amazing person ever. Will you marry me? _

And of course, he just had to put a heart emoticon on there. No, wait. Two dozen heart emoticons.

She quickly typed a response, _First of all, you don't propose over Facebook. Second of all, never, in any other world._

_What is I say please? _was his response.

_No,_ Glinda typed back. _Keep this up and I'll ignore you._

_Oh. _He typed back. _But your profile says you're single, so I thought maybe...ya know..._

_Urgh, see this is why I asked Fiyero to keep my status the way it was. I'm going to kill myself._

Boq took this way too literally. _No, no! Don't do that, Glinda! DON'T KILL YOURSELF, IF YOU KILL YOURSELF, I'LL DIE!_

_Chill, Bick,_ she typed back, rolling her eyes as she did so. _I was being sarcastic._

_My name is not Bick, it's Boq! _came his enraged reply.

_No, I'm PRETTY sure it's Bick,_ Glinda typed.

This received twenty likes.

Boq threw his arms up in the air, "EVEN ON FACEBOOK?! WHERE MY NAME _CLEARLY _READS BOQ!"


	5. Chapter 5: Elphaba Isn't Wicked

Chapter 5: Elphaba Isn't Wicked

Fiyero sighed as he opened up his computer. Today had been rough; the crows had been particularly nasty. He quickly checked his Facebook status and saw that Madame Morrible had asked to be his friend. He quickly denied it; there was no way he wanted that fish-lady as his friend.

He checked Elphaba's friend list to see if the green-skinned witch had made any more friends. She'd finally realized Glinda was joking, so they were friends again…_Nessa…Him…what?_

That was it. How dare nobody want to be friends with his beautiful Fae? He, himself, had two dozen friends on Facebook, and he was a wanted fugitive! He quickly typed a message on his wall, _Guess what, guys? The Wicked Witch of the West isn't Wicked!_

_Are you kidding?_ Boq typed back. _She's totally evil. She turned me into a tin-person!_

Fiyero was about to reply, but Elphaba quickly intercepted, _Excuse me? I turned you into a tin-person to save your life! _

Boq quickly typed back, _Excuse me? You didn't save my life, you RUINED it!_

Elphaba quickly typed back, _What, would you have rather died?_

Fiyero quickly decided to intervene before there was a huge internet battle, _Yeah, Bick? Would you have rather died?_

Elphaba liked it.

_It's BOQ!_

Glinda took the time to join the conversation, _Yeah, right, Bick. We ALL know what your name REALLY is._

_It's Boq, I tell you! Boq!_

_Mmm-hmm…It's Bick. Stop lying. You even put it on your profile your name is Boq, but it's not. We ALL know it's Bick._

Fiyero nodded. Yeah, his name was totally Bick. He liked Glinda's comment.

_Really, Fiyero? _Boq typed back. _REALLY? You, too?_

_Well, it's obvious, _Fiyero typed. _Your name is Bick. _

_Ugh, I swear, I'm gonna get my mother into this conversation, and she'll tell you my name…_

A minute later, _Bickava Fitzgerald _joined the conversation. _Something you wanted me to do, Bick, honey?_

_Gah! Mother! My name is NOT Bick! You, too? Your old age must be getting to you…_

_You'll show more respect to your mother, you will! _Boq's mother typed back angrily. Fiyero liked the comment, and so did Glinda.

Elphaba typed the next one, _Wait, so his name is Bick? Oh…I thought it was Boq, but I guess it is Bick._

Boq quickly typed back, _Agh! One of the only people to remember my name has just been lost! Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have brought you into the conversation, Mother…_

_You shut your mouth! Show more respect for your elders, Bick! This is exactly why that nice green girl turned you tin! _Boq's mother replied.

Fiyero and Elphaba liked this comment.

A moment later, Elphaba wrote a comment, _How did this conversation switch from me not being Wicked to an argument over Bick's name?_

_Huh,_ was Boq's single reply.

_Got anything better to say? _Elphaba's next comment came sarcastically.

_Nope, not really,_ Boq replied.

_Shut up, Bick._ Fiyero was sick of the Tin-Man picking on his Fae. He noticed Glinda and Boq's mother both liked his comment.

But Elphaba was still talking to Boq, _I didn't think so._

_Yeah, well, I still think you're Wicked,_ Boq replied.

Elphaba was completely silent for five whole minutes. _Uh-oh, it's not a good thing when Elphaba gets really quiet,_ Fiyero typed to Boq. _If she were really there, I'd suggest you run._

_ . NOT. WICKED! _Came Elphaba's short but angry reply.

_Uh-oh, you really got her mad, _Fiyero typed to Boq.

_Not helping, Fifi!_ Boq's angry reply was.

Fiyero was silent. What had he just called him? _Fifi? _Fiyero said.

_Come on, Yero, he's not worth it,_ Elphaba said. _Let's just leave._

_Elphaba Thropp has left this conversation._

_If I ever see you again, I'm going to rust you, _Fiyero typed before leaving to conversation.

_Ooh, Bick, you are so dead,_ Glinda was the last one that typed before leaving.

"Why does the world hate me?" cried Boq, banging his head on his computer.


	6. Chapter 6: Morrible's Age

Chapter 6: Morrible's Age

Madame Morrible walked over to her computer before sitting down and checking her Facebook status.

Here was her profile:

**Name: Madame Minerva Morrible**

**Age: Unknown**

**Home: The Emerald City…Prison**

**Current Location: Southstairs in Oz (luckily they let me keep my computer)**

**In a Relationship: Well…no…but feel free to call me anytime, Fiyero Tiggular –bats eyes flirtatiously-**

Fiyero Tiggular posted a comment, _Ewwww….No, I'm not calling you! You're way too old for me! What is your age, anyways?_

Morrible sighed. He just didn't get it. _It says Unknown for a reason, smart-alick._

_You mean you're so old you forgot your age?_

Boq quickly joined the conversation, _Or are you just not telling us because you're so old you'd be embarrassed?_

_Man, either way, she must be really old. _Fiyero replied.

Elphaba joined next, _Yeah…you know, there's a spell that can tell you how old someone is…_

Boq responded next, _Really? That's one spell I'd actually like…can you cast it on her?_

_Yeah! _Fiyero replied quickly, _Cast it now, Fae!_

_Cast it, cast it! _Boq typed excitedly.

Morrible was terribly frightened. They just couldn't find out her real age, they couldn't! Then, another person joined the conversation.

Oscar _'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' _Diggs, _Actually, I'd be interested in seeing that spell, too. _For once in her life, it seemed Elphaba was on the same page as him, for she, Boq, and Fiyero all liked his comment.

_Shut up and stop being bullies! _Morrible typed quickly as her defense. _If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!_

_Like you did when you called Elphaba 'Wicked Witch'?_

_Hey! You didn't exactly contradict me! _Was Morrible's heated response.

_Well… at least I didn't actually SAY it…and at least I actually said I was sorry. _Elphaba, Fiyero, and Boq all liked this comment, and then another person joined the conversation: Avaric Tenmeadows. He liked it as well.

_Why you snotty, little…_ Morrible typed back as fast as she could.

_That all you can say? _The Wizard typed back rudely.

_Hah, _was Avaric's only reply.

_That the only thing you can say? _Morrible typed back.

_You know, I hate how my big part in the book was transformed into a just a driver for Princey-boy,_ Avaric typed. Morrible remembered how cruel he was to Elphaba in the book and quickly 'Liked' the comment. For some reason, so did Elphaba, and Fiyero, Boq, The Wizard, and two of Elphaba's random friends called Nia Wickedgirl and Nat Guest.

_Who are you?_ Avaric typed, referring rudely to Nia Wickedgirl and Nat Guest.

_I'm Nia Wickedgirl! _Typed Nia.

_And I'm Nat Guest! _Typed the girl.

_O.o…you guys have weird names, _typed The Wizard.


	7. Chapter 7: Nessa Loves Boq

Chapter 7: Nessa Loves Boq

Nessarose smiled as she looked at her entire wall full of pictures of her one true love…Boq. Ah, Boq…he was so amazingly handsome, even when he was tin. She sat down by her computer and went to her profile, which said:

**Name: **Nessarose Thropp

**Age: **21

**Home: **Munchkinland

**Interested in: **Boq, jeweled shoes, ruling Munchkinland, Boq, friends

**In a Relationship: **Boq…the love of my life will always have a special place in my heart, even if he shall never, EVER love me back…I will make sure he does even if it means DEATH!

Nessarose smiled. She had the most wonderful profile in the world…she sighed dreamily and traced Boq's name on her wonderful profile page. Just reading it made her swoon. She decided she'd type a message on her wall,

_Oh, Boq…you are the love of my life. I will never, EVER get over you._

Elphaba typed a response the moment later, _You're gonna live a long, unhappy life._

How could her sister say such a thing? Not to mention she was already dead! Ugggghhhhh!

_That's a Wicked thing to say!_ Nessarose typed back. Oh, yeah. She knew how to hit where it burns.

It took Elphaba five minutes to respond, and when she did, it was… _Well, I'm not the only Wicked one, am I?_

Nessa responded, _Yeah, well, you're worse than I am._

Oscar 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' Diggs responded next, _Are you seriously arguing about which of you is Wickeder?_

Nessa sighed. _Well, it's obvious SHE is. All of my life I depended on her, and she just flew around Oz rescuing Animals she'd never even met, and not ONCE did she come back to rescue me! _

Elphaba responded next, exactly one minute later, _Not ONCE did I come back to rescue you?! Don't you remember the jeweled shoes enchantment!?_

Boq joined the conversation next, _Isn't when you turned me into the Tin Man?_

One of Elphaba's friends, Ronnaé Decker, responded next, _Yeah, but only to save your life! Oh, hey Boq, Nessa, accept my friend requests!_

They quickly did, before Boq responded to Ronnaé, _For the last time, she didn't SAVE my life, she RUINED it!_

Nessa decided to respond to Ronnaé, _How do you know about that?_

Elphaba Thropp responded next, _Because they're stalkers and they follow the whole story of our lives._

_We are not stalkers! We just saw a play showing us your entire lives! _Ronnaé was indignant.

Elphaba typed again, _Who wrote that play and how did they know about our lives?_

Ronnaé typed, _Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman._

Glinda then joined the conversation, _You didn't answer her second question._

_Wow, Glinda, way to be observant! _The Wizard responded. Nessa, Elphaba, Boq, and Ronnaé all liked his comment.

_Hey, Elphie, what was that for? _Glinda typed, obviously mad at her friend for Liking that.

_What can I say? For once, he's right…you do tend to…let things slip by._

Elphabalover101 Author decided to join the conversation, _Hi, guys!_

_Oh great, another deranged fangirl, _Elphaba typed.

Nessa gasped. How could her sister say such a rude thing?

_Elphaba, that was so rude! You apologize immediately! I can't believe you would say such a thing!_

The Wizard responded immediately, _Wow. Go Miss Nessarose! _Glinda and Ronnaé liked this.

_Thank you, Your Ozness! _Nessarose responded, thrilled to have The Wonderful Wizard of Oz talking to her.

_Nessa, no! He's EVIL! _Elphaba typed back.

_How come Nessa is more liked than I am? _Boq said at the same time.

_Omg, Boq, I love you SOO MUCH! And Elphaba, he's nicer than YOU are! And villains aren't nice, so YOU are a villain!_

Elphaba then sent a comment full of language that their father would definitely not approve of.

_He's a f***in' b******. _

Oh no, Father would most definitely not be proud! So Nessarose quickly Blocked her sister.

Glinda typed the next response, _Oh, come on, at least she censored it! _

Ronnaé, the Wizard, and another of Elphaba's friends named Mia Thompson Liked this.


	8. Chapter 8: Frex?

Chapter 8: Frex?

Elphaba sat down at her computer and hit the power button, waiting every agonizing second for the darn thing to turn on. When it finally did, she immediately clicked Facebook and logged in before receiving (yet another) friend request. Elphaba lazily accepted this girl 'Queen Maddy Cliffies'' request before updating her status.

_I am really tired of people pairing me with other people than Fiyero. Ex. Glinda, Avaric (where the hell did that come from, anyways?) _

_You don't want to be with me? _Glinda typed back in mock-hurt.

Elphaba sighed and typed a response, _Glinda, what did I tell you I'd do if you made that kind of joke again?_

Nessa responded next, _She'd do the same thing I did to you the other day._

She just had to bring that up.

_Shut up, Nessa._ Elphaba quickly typed back, not really in the mood for crude remarks. She liked to give those herself.

It seemed 'Chistery Nikko' had made an account. _Miss Nessarose, Mistress apologizes for her behavior the other day and knows it was irrational._

Elphaba was really annoyed now. Even Chistery was turning against her! Her own flying Monkey! But before she could respond, her beloved professor, Doctor Desmond Dillamond joined.

_Oh, Miss Elphaba, you haven't changed a bit!_

_Doctor Dillamond! I can't believe it! _Elphaba was ecstatic.

Glinda, Nessa, and even Boq liked this comment.

_When did you join, Bick? _Doctor Dillamond typed.

_When I saw you made an account! You were a great professor, _Boq typed modestly.

Doctor Dillamond typed back, _Why thank you, Bick._

The next comment lowered Elphaba's spirits. It was from her father, Frexspar 'The _Bick. Ah, well, at least he's tall._

Glinda responded to him first, _I know, right? Bick is such a weird name! And what do you mean, tall?_

Elphaba replied to Frex's comment, _What are you doing, typing on my profile page?_

Nessa typed back heatedly, _Fabala, that was rude! He's our father!_

_He's also the guy that crushed my spirits and hit me more than once. _Elphaba defended herself.

Doctor Dillamond was apparently shocked. _You beat your own daughter?_

For once, Elphaba was angry with her former teacher. _Of course he did! He hates me!_

_No need to get mad, Miss Elphaba. I was merely surprised._

Elphaba felt guilty. _Sorry, Doctor._

Glinda typed back, _Don't worry, Elphie. I'm sure he'll forgive you, all teachers do. _Elphaba sighed. That really wasn't helping her case.

_Miss Glinda, I apologize, but you seem incredibly dim-witted if you think that shall help your friend's case_, Doctor Dillamond voices Elphaba's thoughts.

Boq, Nessa, and Madame Morrible liked this.

Elphaba sighed. Since when did Morrible get here? _Morrible, get off my page._

_Yes, please do._ Doctor Dillamond snapped at his former colleague.

_You…YOU CRUSHED ME WITH A HOUSE! GO DIE IN A HOLE! _Nessarose typed, clearly pissed off at seeing her murderer on Facebook. Elphaba, Glinda, and Boq Liked this.

_Nice going, Miss Nessarose! _Dillamond cheered. Boq Liked this.

_Madame Morrible, I must agree with the others on this. You are a heartless beast. _Chistery typed.

Doctor Dillamond and Boq Liked this.

Elphaba sighed. _Back to Frex…I really hate you. Get the hell off my profile page._

And Morrible just had to but in, _You abused Miss Elphaba? Oh, how magnificent! How about you and I become a team to hunt down the Wicked Witch of the West?_

Boq typed quickly, _Hey! Can I help?_

Glinda typed immediately to Boq, _I hate you. I'm never going to fall in love with you, you heartless bastard._

Elphaba was impressed, _Wow, Glin, never knew you had it in you._

Frex quickly responded, _Madame Morrible, when can we meet? _

Boq, however, responded to Glinda, _Are you sure you'll never love me?_

Five whole minutes later, and no one had responded. Obviously, they were all extremely exasperated with the Munchkin. Boq, however, obviously thought they'd left, so he quickly did, too.

_Thank the Unnamed God, _Frex responded.


	9. Chapter 9: Dumb Bick

Chapter 9: Dumb Bick

Nia Wickedgirl squealed excitedly as she logged onto Facebook. She just couldn't wait to see what her new Wicked friends were doing!

She waited for her stupid computer to load before immediately clicking safari and Facebook, before logging in.

She'd finally gotten to friending all of the Wicked characters, such as Glinda and Elphaba and all of them except for Morrible. She'd even friended the Wizard.

She'd received a friend request from Grommetik, so before accepting, she went to its profile.

**Grommetik's Profile Page**

**Name: Grommetik**

**Age: As old as Madame Morrible, whose age is Unknown**

**Home: Southstairs with Mistress Morrible**

**Current Location: Southstairs**

**Interested in: Serving Madame Morrible till she dies**

**In a Relationship: No.**

Surprisingly, it had a comment on its wall from someone other than Madame Morrible. It was from Dorothy Gale, asking, _Who are you?_

_Welcome, Dorothy Gale,_ Grommetik ignored the girl's question.

Nia suppressed a giggle. Of course Farm Brat wouldn't know who Grommetik was; she hadn't even met him in the book. She was about to reply to her, but Mister Boss beat her to it, _A robot servant of Madame Morrible's._

Grommetik responded quickly, _I do not believe that is enough information for Miss Gale, as she has no idea whom Madame Morrible is. She is the Wizard's former press secretary, and I am her robotic servant in the book. In the musical, I do not exist, but the author is making this a booksical._

Nia couldn't have put it better herself.

Boq, apparently, felt like writing a response to that, _Dorothy knows who __**I **__am!_

Nia rolled her eyes. Oh, Bick…

Apparently Fiyero had the same thoughts, _Nobody cares, Bick._

_It's Boq! Boq, I tell you!_

Mister Boss responded immediately, _Nobody gives a…well, I'd say it, but I don't think your small Munchkin brain would be able to handle it._

Nia saw that Fiyero Tigelaar, Dorothy Gale, Boq Fitzgerald, Grommetik, and Doctor Desmond Dillamond liked the comment.

_It's true. _Boq explained his reasoning sadly. _Munchkins' brains are as small as their bodies. _

_Even you? _Mister Boss responded.

Ronnaé Decker responded to his comment, _Well, I mean, I like him and all, nice guy, but he's not the sharpest tool in the box._

Doctor Dillamond responded, _I have his grades to show for that. _

Nia Wickedgirl, Grommetik Machine, Mister Boss, and even Boq agreed with that.

_Oh, I need to leave. _Mister Boss abruptly left the conversation.

_Thank Oz he's gone. _Boq typed.

Grommetik responded, _Now, you must leave. _

_What? What did I do?! _Was Boq's indignant response.

_Existed. _Doctor Dillamond responded.

_Can't deny that._ Fiyero typed.

Doctor Dillamond and Grommetik agreed.

_Never mind, I'm back. _Mister Boss rejoined the conversation.

_Oh, joy._ Fiyero was feeling sarcastic today.

_I hate you, too. _Mister Boss responded.

_Glad we're on the same page. _Fiyero retorted sarcastically. Nia, Ronnaé, Doctor Dillamond, Boq liked this.

_As long as we all hate each other here, I'd like to say the person I despise most of all is a tie between Nessarose and Elphaba. _Boq responded.

Mister Boss typed back, _We're not talking about you!_

Grommetik agreed, apparently, _Most definitely not._

_Thank you, Grommetik. I think I'll friend you. _Mister Boss seemed pleased.

_You two deserve each other. _Ronnaé Decker responded.

Nia Liked her comment.

_Please don't say that! It brings back bad memories! _Boq responded.

_Oh, shut the hell up._ Mister Boss ended the conversation with a bang.

**A/N: I'm going to try to get more of you in here, starting with this chapter. **

**~Madison**


	10. Chapter 10: Morrible Should be Murdered

Morrible Should be Murdered

Madame Morrible looked in the mirror of her prison cell in Southstairs and straightened her wig before smiling. Oh, yes…she was absolutely gorgeous. Who wouldn't love her? Why did everyone hate her?

She sighed. Nobody wanted to be her friend on Facebook except for Grommetik, and the Wizard, who insisted their relationship was strictly business. The only one that was _truly _her friend was Frex…Elphaba's…er believed-father…Oh, Frex…he was so dreamy. Wait…did she have a crush? Morrible shook it up and decided to check her Facebook status. Oh, her lovely Facebook status…it was almost as gorgeous as her.

**Elphabalover101 Author **had commented on her wall. Morrible was excited to see what it was; no one ever commented, for she and Frex did their plotting in secret.

_Why are you so ugly? _

Morrible's smile immediately turned into a scowl. She wasn't ugly, she was beautiful! She hastily typed a reply to the rude girl, _Excuse me, but I'm almost certain I'm prettier than you are._

_At least I'm beautiful on the inside, too. _Was her response.

Doctor Dillamond decided to join the conversation.

_Well, said, Miss Elphabalover101. Madame Morrible is the ugliest creature I have come across; inside or outside._

How dare this Goat insult her?

_Well, at least…uh… _Morrible couldn't think of a response, and she accidentally hit the enter key. She became even more embarrassed when she saw that Dorothy Gale, Elphabalover101 Author, Glinda Arduenna Upland, and Boq Fitzgerald all Liked the comment.

_You can't even type up a retort. _Doctor Dillamond responded.

_Yeah, you're just a big Fish. _Glinda said.

_Hey, Madame Morrible? Why do you wear so much make-up? _Elphabalover101 Author asked.

_Because it makes me look even more beautiful. _Morrible shrugged, typing up the truth.

Dorothy Gale commented, _I think you're really ugly._

Doctor Dillamond Liked her comment.

Elphaba Thropp decided to join this conversation. _You know, I think I could actually warm up to this Farm Brat._

_Don't be too sure; you have no idea how annoying it was to travel with her. _Boq responded.

_I said I COULD warm up to her. I didn't say I WOULD._

Madame Morrible Liked this, as did Doctor Dillamond, Dorothy Gale, and Glinda Arduenna Upland.

Elphaba quickly typed her response, _See? Farm Brat likes the comment because she knows we're not meant to be friends. I think I'm gonna go now. _**Elphaba Thropp **has left this conversation.

Glinda posted the next comment. _Wonder why she was so quick to leave. _

_Maybe she saw Morrible's face and got scared, _Doctor Dillamond suggested cruelly.

Morrible Liked it, for he was so wrong it was funny, and so did Dorothy Gale and Boq Fitzgerald.

Then, Mia Thompson joined the conversation, _Morrible, die! –grabs BB gun- _

Morrible gasped. How dare this idiot try to shoot her!

And on the internet, too! For shame!

Doctor Dillamond was trying to be rational. _Is there a way…we can organize a meeting? I would…like to hire you to assassinate Morrible._

Morrible had already typed something, too, _You're just a big meanie! –bursts into tears-_

Elphabalover 101 Author typed a comment, _Lol, this is hilarious._

Morrible typed something back, _You're meaner then her! And she tried to kill me! Over the internet! _

**Mia Thompson **has left this conversation.

_Yeah, that's right! Run, ya little coward! No one can stand the wrath of MINERVA MORRIBLE! _Morrible typed.

Dorothy Gale decided to type a comment, _I don't know…I think maybe it was your face she was afraid of._

Dorothy did have her moments.

But in Morrible's case, she didn't like those moments. _Oh, what do you know? You're just a stupid little girl._

_No, actually I received A's in all of my subjects, so I'm actually very bright. _Dorothy responded.

_I hate you. _Madame Morrible typed, angry at Dorothy Gale for typing a response she was unable to diss.

_Don't worry, Dorothy. I bet she's not that ugly if she'd take off her make-up. _Boq said.

No one responded for the next ten minutes, for everyone knew that she was even uglier under the make-up.

_Is it something I said? _Was Boq's confused response.

Morrible was fuming with rage, so she quickly blocked her former student. Why did the world hate her? Except for her Frexy-poo…she need to see him; he'd cheer her up…


	11. Chapter 11: Elphaba versus Shenshen

Elphaba versus Shenshen

Glitter Bunnii grinned as she logged onto Facebook. She still couldn't believe she was actually friends with Wicked characters! It made her head spin with excitement.

She decided to check Fiyero's status.

**Name: Fiyero Tiggular**

**Age: 25**

**Home: Can't tell ya. It'd give away me and Fae's secret. **

**Current Location: In a cornfield**

**Interested in: Elphaba, Elphaba, Elphaba…pretty much it. Oh, and green. I also like green.**

**In a relationship: Currently engaged to my brilliant, beautiful, Elphaba! That's right. Engaged. Ladies, I'm taken. ;)**

Glitter rolled her eyes and checked his wall. She saw that Boq Fitzgerald had posted a comment on there.

'_Ladies, I'm taken'? Please. No one but Elphaba would want to date a scarecrow._

Fiyero responded about two minutes later. _Well, who would wanna a tin man? At least I've got a beautiful girl…how're things going with you and Glinda?_

Commander Cherrystone, head of the guards at Kiamo Ko, responded, _Nice one, bro._

Glitter rolled her eyes. Her eye-rolling only increased when she saw that Fiyero Tiggular, Nessarose Thropp, and Mister Boss all Liked his comment.

Boq sent a response to Cherrystone, _Well…some of us have feelings, guys!_

Cherrystone responded, _Yeah. Those of us with hearts._

Elphaba joined the conversation a few minutes later.

_Oh, and FYI, Bick, before you blame it on me, I wasn't the one who shrunk your heart._

_Yeah! It was Nessa! _Fiyero typed in response.

_Wait…it was Nessa? NESSA! _Boq typed, clearly angry at Nessarose for lying to him.

Glitter snorted in amusement. He couldn't do anything to her over the internet.

Mister Boss then decided to comment, _What do you mean your current location is in a cornfield?_

Fiyero responded, _I'm a scarecrow. It's what we do for a living._

Glitter sighed. She hoped Elphaba would be able to change him back…

_But you're not living. _Mister Boss typed in response.

_Actually, I am. I may not be a human, but I am a living scarecrow. _Fiyero sent in response.

_Yeah, Fifi, you tell them! _Glinda wrote.

_Glinda…you know I'm engaged, right? And I don't run off with every girl that's not engaged to me. _Fiyero wrote exasperatedly.

_Special cases, only, right? _Elphaba wrote.

It took Fiyero a few minutes to respond. He was obviously thinking of the right thing to say so she wouldn't get mad. Then he came up with something absolutely _brilliant._

_Special CASE, only, dear. _

Elphaba's next comment came about a minute later.

_You know flattery doesn't work on me, right?_

Glinda Upland, Mister Boss, Commander Cherrystone, and Boq Fitzgerald all Liked this comment. Glitter smirked. For someone who knew Elphaba well, he certainly didn't know her that well.

_Well…it was worth a shot, right? _Fiyero wrote pathetically.

Glinda Upland and Mister Boss Liked this.

_It was a pathetic attempt, but it was a…well…and even more pathetic reply. _Boq Fitzgerald wrote.

_Well, your attempt to woo Glinda aren't exactly going very well, are they? What do you know about flirting? _Fiyero typed back as his defense.

It turned out to be a good one, for Elphaba Thropp, Glinda Upland, Commander Cherrystone, and Mister Boss all Liked it. Glitter Bunnii didn't. She kinda liked Glinda and Boq together…

Stupid Fiyero.

_Look at this! How can people pair us up in fanfictions? _Boq complained.

_At least people actually write about you. _Cherrystone retorted.

_Sorry. _Boq apologized gruffly.

Then, Fiyero sent a message. _Oh, crap…Shenshen's walking towards me. Crap. Crap. Crap. How did she even find me?_

Elphaba responded two minutes later. _Wait, Shenshen?! Hold on, Fiyero, I'm coming!_

_That's my Fae,_ Fiyero responded proudly. _She's coming to rescue me._

Glinda Upland responded, _It's been a while since I've seen Shenshen…and honestly, I can't say I'm disappointed._

_Just kicked Shenshen's ass. She's leaving now. _Elphaba typed proudly.

_Elphie, please refrain from using such language. _Glinda typed back to her.

_I don't give a shit._

_Fae, my hero…_Fiyero typed back to her.

Glitter had no idea what to say to that.

Apparently nobody else did either.


	12. Chapter 12: Doctor Dillamond and Glinda

Chapter 12:

Doctor Dillamond sat down at his desk in his room and, wish his hoof, carefully powered on his computer. Ah, his wonderful computer...but he just hated these hooves, they took so long to type with. Which was why he had a pointer he used on his keyboard. He took it out of his desk drawer and held it between his teeth while using his hoof to carefully navigate to Facebook.

Once he was there, the first thing he saw was his wonderful, beautiful profile.

**Name: Doctor Dillamond**

**Age: 28…okay, 34…67…L**

**Home: A place in a forest, since SOMEONE banned Animals from Oz. **

**Current Location: My wonderful computerside.**

**Interested In: Teaching, rebelling, grading, speaking, students (cough cough Miss Elphaba), giving speeches, history**

**In a Relationship: Nope. **

He scrolled down to check his Wall, and saw one of his former students had posted a comment there. Glinda Arduenna Upland said, _Oh, hello, Doctor Dillamond! Did you know I changed my name in honor of you?_

Dillamond rolled his eyes, for Elphaba had told him the real reason. _From what I heard, it was more to impress Fiyero Tiggular than to honor me._

_Yes, but still…in honor of you? _

_Hey, Doctor Dillamond, remember me? _Shenshen typed.

_Hey! Shenshen, this is a PRIVATE conversation. Leave now! _Glinda typed before Doctor Dillamond could answer. Shenshen humbly obliged, leaving the two to talk again.

_That wasn't necessary, Miss Upland. _Doctor Dillamond typed. He hadn't really wanted a private conversation with Glinda, anyways.

Oh yeah. He sure told her.

Glinda typed back, _I KNOW, but I wanted to catch up with my favorite professor!_

Mister Boss joined the conversation.

_Ha, SURE you did._

Fiyero joined at the moment, _Yeah, I remember you having that conversation with Elphaba where she made you go say 'hi' to Doctor Dillamond._

Mister Boss responded to him. _Yeah, I remember that, too._

Doctor Dillamond typed to Glinda, _There go your hopes and dreams of a private conversation._

_Ha, good one, man…er, Goat…_Fiyero typed quickly. Dillamond rolled his eyes. Fiyero could be SUCH an idiot.

Doctor Dillamond typed back to him.

_I see you haven't changed much._

_Actually he has, DD! He's so smart and moodified, it's so annoy-noy! _Glinda's irritated reply was.

Doctor Dillamond rolled his eyes.

_DD? Annoy-noy?_

Well, one thing was for certain, Glinda hadn't changed at all.

_Well, yeah…DD is Doctor Dillamond, and annoy-noy…it's just funner to say than 'annoying'._

And then Glinda Arduenna Upland had left the conversation.

_Huh. I wonder why I didn't do something life that earlier. _Doctor Dillamond typed. He would've been rid of the happy-go-lucky blonde earlier.

_Yes, that is normally the best way to get rid of her. Question her logic. _Mister Boss responded sincerely.

Boq Fitzgerald joined the conversation then.

_Wait, Glinda's gone? Aw, man!_

The next message that popped up was Mister Boss has left the conversation.

_Yes, he's gone! The evil dwarf is GONE! _Boq typed triumphantly.

_He's evil? You're kind of the one that led the Witch Hunters on their quest. _Fiyero typed sarcastically.

Dillamond immediately Liked the comment, and so did Elphaba Thropp, who had joined the conversation.

_E-Elphaba? What are you doing here? _Was Boq's nervous comment.

Aw. The poor boy was scared at her.

Elphaba was quiet for a moment.

Then she replied, _You're a bigger idiot than I thought you were if you think I'm going to kill you.__  
_

Doctor Dillamond looked Elphaba. She was his best student and best friend ever.

…Yeah, he didn't have many friends.

He was about to leave the conversation, as it was going nowhere when Glinda rejoined.

_Oz, Elphie, you need to get your Goat under control!_

Doctor Dillamond raised his eyebrows at this.

_HER Goat? Excuse me, Miss Glinda, but I belong to no one! _Dillamond wrote angrily. He was furious beyond rage. He hated this little witch!

_Yeah, well, it's true! You're like her pet! _was her comment.

_What is your problem, Glinda? _Elphaba asked.

But Doctor Dillamond was still heated up.

_I'll have you know, Miss Glinda, just because I am an Animal does not make me anyone's pet! _he wrote.

_Glinda, I'm very disappointed in you. _Elphaba wrote.

Doctor Dillamond was more than disappointed, he was enraged, he was-His thought process was interrupted as Glinda posted another comment.

_…Sorry, DD. _

Dillamond almost did a face-hoof. She had the _nerve_ to call him by that silly nickname? He was trembling with rage now, and it was almost twenty minutes before the conversation was started again.

_I think that was the wrong thing to say_. Fiyero typed.

Dillamond wrote, _You…you blonde!_

…oh, curse his lack of a better reply.

_DD? Something wrong? _Glinda left a reply.

A message popped up: Doctor Dillamond has left this conversation.


End file.
